Today on my drive to Indiana for the weekend, I was thinking about my driving style. Or everyone’s driving style for that matter. Weaving through rush hour traffic with Dierks sliding around on the back seat, I was thinking about the people that drive me crazy on the road. No, this isn’t going to be a post about road rage. After getting over my annoyance at the bad drivers, I started thinking about the lanes of traffic differently.

After we got through the mess of the merging traffic and were finally on a steady pace, I realized I’m a middle driver. Some people always stay in the left lane, while others feel more comfortable to the far right. I’m an in-betweener. I like the feeling of having options – to be able to slide over to the left if someone is too slow for me, or if I suddenly want to get off on an exit – I have that option. I like to plan; to prepare. If I’m driving somewhere unfamiliar you’ll always see me in that middle lane, ready to veer any minute to where I want to go.

The folks in the slow lane aren’t necessarily boring people. They could be, but they could also be people that enjoy the ride. They aren’t in a hurry and they aren’t looking to weave through traffic like their running away from somewhere. Sometimes I wish I was a right laner – I’d be more calm. Less planning, less insane energy all the time.

Now, you left laners. Some of you are skilled, while others of you are not. You are more adventurous; you obviously prefer speed. You could always be type that’s last minute too. You wait until the last second before your exit and veer through two lanes of traffic to get where you need to go. And you never miss it. Sometimes, you scare people in the act or stress them out with your last-minute habits. If you’re good at, then good for you. It’s the drivers that wait until the last minute to merge in a construction zone, and then expect the people already in their correct lane (who have been waiting patiently) to let you in. These could possibly be the people who say they’ll be somewhere at 5 p.m. and show up at 6:15 p.m.

I’m a middle laner and I’m a also letter-inner. I always leave a large gap, always handing people a spot in the miles of traffic. I counted: I let 8 cars in front of me today while we waited in stop-and-go traffic to funnel down to one lane. I like to be helpful I suppose. I guess you can just call me a pathetic middle laner.

So there you have it. I somehow turned traffic into a personality game. What lane are you?

Making your own website is probably the hardest bit of design work you can ever do. I mean, you are your own worst client. It’s awful; the back and forth and the changing of the mind every other day..or in my case, every hour.

Throughout this entire process I would look at the current design of the week at least ten times a day. If I still liked it at the end of two days, it was a keeper. Well, it took me several designs and three development processes to make a decision.

I’m really happy with my final site. Of course, I’m going to be updating and changing it as soon as I start learning new things. I would be a bad designer if I didn’t do that. I still need to do some browser and compliance testing, but I was too excited not to post it up and share it.

The new site is I Give Arial Character.

Below is the progression of my portfolios from the past 7 or 8 months. At the bottom you’ll find the winner.

Hope you like it! I’m sure it’ll be different in about a month anyways.

Post-graduation I moved home for about two weeks to hunt for jobs and live with the parents to save money. After two very disappointing weeks of online searching and resume sending, I received a phone call about a job for a company in Mason, OH. I went for the interview and got the job the same day..which definitely cheered me up! Since May 24th, I’ve been working at Legend Web Works. I was an assistant for a few weeks and now I’m working as web designer and developer. I’ve learned a ridiculous amount in such a short period of time. I can code a website in CSS, I’m learning PHP and the capabilities of a CMS. It’s been great and I’m excited to see how much more I learn in just the next year.

I’m living alone in an apartment in Maineville, OH. Come visit – everyone else who graduated moved to Indy, so I get pretty bored. With this whole no internet lifestyle (saving money…), I’ve been able to spend time reading a lot more. It’s actually kind of nice. I don’t get distracted by some mindless television show because I have nothing better to do. I have a shelf full of books I’m forcing myself to read before I head back to Half Price Books to buy some more. Which, by the way, I love that place. I could stay in there all day just searching and searching for the perfect book. Barnes and Noble and Borders are great, but being surrounded by a bunch of used books is such a different atmosphere. It’s like having little (and inexpensive!) treasures to discover.

I haven’t spent many weekends in Ohio, just because so much as been going on in Batesville and Oldenburg. Bluegrass festival, Fireman’s festival, Freudenfest, moving in…It’s been pretty crazy lately. It’s nice to come home and see the family… it gives me some human interaction. I feel really disconnected. I haven’t watched the news or looked at it online. So, if there’s some big natural disaster, please call me and let me know about it.

Things should be settling down now. I went to Muncie for the last time to clean the house and say goodbye to our castle on the hill. It was a little bittersweet. I’m happy to be finished with school, but I think I might miss the rush of trying to get everything finished on time..even the level of stress. I’ll definitely miss the friends.

Hopefully interesting things start happening to me and I have something to write about that entertains you. I know this post doesn’t have anything very thrilling, but I thought it’d be good to explain my absence. I know this blog isn’t something that I have to do, but I still feel accountable and I want to continue with it.

Well, here’s to hoping I don’t fall off the online world again.

I’m working at a Web development company in Mason, OH. I had an interview last Friday. True stressing began the day I graduated. I feel awful I hadn’t found a job yet. The first week of summer went by (slowly because I was sick) and I felt awful I still hadn’t found anything. I had an interview a week ago and they called me the same day with a proposal: Work as an assistant (the current assistant is out for personal reasons) for three weeks and if the environment fits me and I fit it, I will get the full-time Web designer position. I would love to have this position because it’s a great opportunity to learn a lot and challenge myself as a designer. The job requires more coding knowledge than I have, so insert CSS coding book here. I love teaching myself new things, and I’ve been successful so far. The current designer showed me a few things about the design/development process, so now when I’m not doing anything for the office I spend my time working on this tutorial.

But back to my original point. (Which, in this blog I never really have a point…I just ramble. But hey it works.) I was at Barnes and Noble today and I realized how much I enjoy just walking around, looking at all the fantastic books. I kept telling myself once college was over, I’d have the opportunity to start enjoying things; to start treating myself to the things I enjoy doing. For example, reading is something I want to do more of. I was walking in the bargain section, looking to see if any of the cheap-o books would catch my eye.

And there it was. A bright yellow book with black lettering in Helvetica. I instantly went for it, because, well, it looked fresh and clean, so of course it had to be interesting. Looks like I was right!

This book is, well, I don’t really know how to describe it. It incredibly random and quirky, but sad and a little twisted. July writes about everything from a love affair on a patio involving seizures to a woman searching for Prince William and her neighbor’s dog. Sometime it almost hurts your head it jumps around so much, but that’s why I love it. I feel like this book resembles the way my mind works.

It’s a great collection of short stories, so I recommended everyone take a look. Here’s July’s site as well.

Oh, and today I realized how I shouldn’t have been so worried that I hadn’t found a job yet. It was less than a month ago that I graduated. It felt so much longer when I was sitting around, just waiting.

No more waiting – just living.

Don’t worry, those of you that know me are aware that I’m am not a purchaser of luxury fashion, I don’t read magazines with luxury fashion and I don’t dream about someday owning luxury fashion. However, I just left an informal Q&A session with Angela Ahrendts, the CEO of Burberry. The woman absolutely fascinates me.

Ahrendts will be speaking our our commencement ceremony on May 8th and I’m incredibly excited for it. The reason I’m excited about it: She’s from Indiana and attended Ball State. Now, I’m not trying to be a Ball State plug and talk about how awesome Ball State is and all that hoopla. The part that I’m interested in talking about is how she’s given me much more confidence in myself.

Growing up in Batesville and then continuing my higher education in Indiana, I convinced myself that I’d be able to do great things in my career somebody, but there was a point people would be like, “OK, you’re from the Midwest, this is where you have to stop moving up the career ladder.” Who knows where I got my mindset? (And, by the way, there’s nothing wrong with the Midwest as I explain later.)

After seeing Ahrendts (over Skype), she gave me so much confidence that you don’t have to be born in New York or London or LA to be a big thing. You don’t have to have rich parents and connections out the wazoo already. She moved to New York the day after she graduated and never stopped growing from there. She searched for a job and managed to prove herself in her industry, fashion.

Something that I really liked that she said was that one of the reasons she’s the CEO of Burberry is because she was born in the Midwest, so she was raise to be accountable. I completely agree with that (for the most part.) I think many people in my generation and the ones before me have been shaped by the work ethic and drive of the Midwest. I’m proud that I was raised her because I think it gives me a sense of accomplishment, a sense of focus.

Yes, I’m a designer, and I’m passionate about it. I’m trying to figure out what industry I need to apply my design, marketing and public relations skills to. Is it fashion? Probably not. I think that’s something that has to be in your blood. I mean, when I got to college I asked someone in my dorm, “What are all those C’s on the glasses these girls are wearing.” Welcome to the world of Coach, Stephanie. I racked up my awkward points that day I think.

Anywho, I guess what the whole point of this post is: Someday, I’m going to accomplish everything I want to. I’m going to be a leader, someone who is passionate about their career and someone who’s damn good at it.

You guys are all going to laugh when someday I’m walking around in Burberry trenchcoat.

It’s been quite awhile since I’ve taken the time to write on here. My life has been so busy that I really just haven’t made time for it. I’m surprised how much I’ve actually missed it. It’s been such a good opportunity to put my thoughts down and forget about job searching, school and the daily stresses. However, I’ll end up talking about those three things in here, because, well, it’s my life.

——–

I’m excited.

I’m incredibly excited for what’s next. Yes, I’ll be sad to leave all the close friends I’ve made, the professors that have changed me for the better and the experiences I have gained while I’ve been a student at Ball State. I’ve learned so much inside and outside of the classroom about myself, my interests and my education.

But I’m still excited.

I can’t wait to get my first job, designing or working in public relations – both interest me and I feel like I’m competent in both. I can’t wait to move into my own place, my own city – I want to experience new things, a new lifestyle. Everyone close to me knows how much I want to end up in Seattle. I have a feeling that may not happen right after graduation, but someday it will. You just wait – someday I’ll be buying my produce at Pike Place Market and living in a house overlooking Puget Sound. I know it’s a good place for me – it’s one of those things I just feel. If that makes any sense.

Other than wanting to move to Seattle, I don’t really have a specific plan. OK, well one other thing: finding volunteer and nonprofit opportunities to get involved with wherever I go. I’m just going wherever I go. I want a career. I want to become a better designer and more knowledgeable in marketing and pr. I want to go out in the world and do all these great things so Ball State is begging for me to come and speak to students.

So, I guess I can explain what’s been going on in my life for the month I’ve been ignoring my blogging…

I’ve been hitting the job search hard. Since January 11th (beginning of semester), I’ve been putting my name all over the country, sending my cover letters, my resumes, my portfolio. (Shameless plug.) I’ve gotten some bites, some good interviews…

I applied for this job in Ellensburg, WA. It was a graphic design position in the marketing and pr department at Central Washington University. I had a Skype interview, it went great. Then they called me for a second interview and seemed very excited to speak with me again. Then, I was told there was a ‘snafu” (Yes, this word was used.) Apparently, they couldn’t interview me anymore because I didn’t technically meet the minimum requirements. (No degree yet. Boo.) So, the head of the department told me how sad she was about it, but she wanted to help me. She said she wanted to be one of my references and help me find a job because she felt I was good candidate for someone. This fantastic woman sent out my resume to her connections and a few days later I received interest from a college in the suburbs of LA. They basically told me I had a great chance for the job, but I had to refuse, considering I can’t afford to live there.

So it was back to the search. I applied for many more jobs…I had an interview for a job in Tacoma, WA. They liked me but they wanted somebody to work as soon as possible.

Then I sent my information to Fleishman Hillard in St. Louis. Figured I wouldn’t hear anything back because they’re kind of this fantastic organization. Got phone call from last week expressing their interest and wanting to interview me. So I’m headed to STL on Friday for a internship interview with the creative department.

I also have an interview with another great company in Indianapolis, ExactTarget. I should have an interview in the next week, so we’ll see how it goes. It would be a great environment to work in, and definitely great challenges.

Now you can see why I’m excited to get this post-grad life of my going.

However, I still want to follow the idea of my professor who told me to get in my car, drive to Seattle and make my dreams happen now. I think about it everyday and hope I get the guts to just do it. I have 23 days to make myself stop being scared about being stuck in an unfamiliar city with no home and no job. I mean, that can’t be that bad…right?

Countdown to May 8th will continue. For those of you that enjoy my blog (all 3 of you), I promise I’ll try to stop ignoring this so much. I don’t want to be another one of those blogs that just rollover and die.

Agh, well back to studying and finishing my senior year. A few more projects and I’m well on my way to success.

Oh and when I typed success, it made me think of this Michael J. Fox movie, Secret of My Success.

When people look at me, they probably think I’m pretty put together: I’m about to finish college and I have friends. I seem fairly normal. For some reason today, I was thinking about how much I’ve changed since I came to college. My friends that I’ve met at Ball State have gotten to know me well for who I am now, but have no idea about the person I used to be. I’ve noticed as I’ve gotten closer with friends, I’ve been able to share more of my pre-college days.

I can’t decide if I should start at the top or bottom. I think I’ll start with the bottom.

I grew up out in the country, so when I was little my days consisted of me playing outside in the creek, mud and rain. I built forts out of sticks and rocks. We lived on a dead-end road, so the only one neighbor was close to my age. My sister, Cassi and I were quite the trio. We explored the woods and played in the attic of our shed, pretending we lived back in the days of Laura Ingalls Wilder. (Back then we called it playing, “Olden Days.”)

I was loud and talkative. I loved to goof off and play and I wasn’t afraid of new people. I hung out with the boys when I first began school. My parents have been friends with the same couple since they were in high school, so they ended up having kids at the same time. Melissa and Kara were the same age, while Michael and I were in the same grade. This was the point in my life where I hit the fork to either become that girly-girl or the tomboy. Hmm..guess which one I chose? I had short hair and refused to pierce my ears. I begged my mom to let me play youth football and always tried to show the boys I was just as good as them.

[It's nice because I'm still friends with Melissa and Michael. We've spend Christmas Eve together every year. Michael's dating my best friend from high school, and Melissa also went to Ball State. This is just a side note about how it's great when something in your life never changes. These are two people I know will never not be a part of my life. No matter where we go or what we do, we're always going to have our childhood memories together. Saturday night was Nobbe/Bane night.]

When I started middle school, I realized something about my guy friends: They were suddenly interested in girls. They weren’t interested in me because I probably acted too much like them. I quickly realized my awkward appearance was suddenly not fine anymore. I wasn’t one of the ‘pretty girls.’ I had braces, acne and curly hair that I didn’t know how to handle. I was that kid walking around with my backpack unzipped. You know that kid; you even see them in college sometimes. There they are, walking around and they have no idea. Today, I was the kid. It brought my memories, so I think that’s why it struck me to write this post. Whenever I see the unzipped backpack kid walking around, I always go up to them and tell them. Nobody wants to be that kid; even in college.

Now, in middle school I wasn’t a complete tomboy: I did start to make more friends that were girls and I even was a cheerleader. I caught on quickly and did pretty well, but I was always so negative. I was always convinced that people didn’t like me, or that people were making fun of me. A lot had to do with the braces and hair I’m guessing. I just wasn’t confident with myself. I suddenly started becoming quieter and quieter in social situations.

When I got to high school, things were a little better. I managed to lose the braces and started learning how to make my hair look less insane. I did well in school, but still stuck to my close group of friends. I avoided the “cool” kids because I felt like I wasn’t worthy (who knows!) of their company. Once again, I always assumed people were talking about me or making fun of me. My junior year, I had my first real relationship. We dated for a year, I got cheated on for the first time and then sunk back into my not-so-confident self. He started dating a girl that at the time I thought was better than me because she was a pretty blonde. I felt like I was the awkward redhead and convinced myself that nobody wanted me. My senior year consisted of me being quiet for the most part, sulking over my lost relationship and first love. Sure, I had a good time with my friends, but underneath I was always sad. I had a 3.8 or 3.9 when I graduated from high school and for some reason I was convinced no college would even let me in. When Ball State let me in, I was amazed. For some reason, I couldn’t recognize the fact that I was talented at certain things. I got accepted into the art school and still told myself that I must have just gotten lucky; that it was a fluke I got in.

Once I started college, I realized this was my chance to be myself. It took awhile to adjust. I spent everyday until Labor Day weekend crying because I missed my family. After that, I managed to pull myself together and realize that I could handle college. After my first semester as an art major, I realized I wasn’t in the right area. I changed my major to journalism and it basically changed who I am as a person. I’ve never really realized it until I just wrote it down. I think the day I finally realized I was in the right place and was confident in my abilities was the day I bounced back.

At the beginning of my sophomore year I decided I was going to get involved and participate on campus. I joined every organization possible: BallBearingsOnline.com, DN, expo magazine and Cardinal Communications. I was miserable because I never slept, I ate terrible food and I didn’t get to see my friends outside of the department. But although I was stressed out and incredibly busy, I loved it. I love the feeling that I was doing something right in my life and that people respected me. People actually knew my name in the department and it felt good to finally be able to say I was confident.

My past did change me a bit, so there are some things that need to be fixed: I’m not quick to share my emotions with anyone, I don’t like crying in front of people and I’m really independent. It’s annoying for those close to me. They want to help and I just can’t seem to let it out. To feel better I throw myself into work. It works for a bit, but if I’m having a real issue, it doesn’t go away. I don’t have drama or a lot of issues, so I guess that’s good. I’m independent to the point where I’ll struggle to carry in six bags up eight flights of stairs just because I want to prove I can do it. (And yes, this happened in the dorm. A nice guy asked to help and I said no. I ended up about falling down the stairs and sweating to the max.)

Eric and I have been dating almost a year and he’s the first guy I’ve ever been able to completely be myself around or express any type of emotion to. Trust me, it hasn’t been easy. He’s had to force me to communicate and actually speak when something’s wrong. I’ve made excellent progress. Even something as simple as this blog: For those of you that have stuck around and read my posts, I don’t really let myself out in it. Sure, I write funny things and show my personality, but I’ve never really rambled about myself like this. It feels good, yet awkward in a way.

Now that I’ve got four years of college under my belt and experience in my field, I’m feeling confident. I feel great. I’m happy with my life, my friends, family and anything else there is. Sure, I’m anxious because I have no idea where I’ll be in two months. I know I’m obsessive about my job search and probably driving my friends crazy, but please bear with me. I’m excited so I can’t help but talk about it all the time. Just please deal with me for a little bit longer.

When it comes down to it, I’ve done a 180 in four short years: But I’m happy with myself and I think there’s a place in the world for oddballs like me: That goofy, nerdy, awkward, unzipped backpack kid who randomly dances in her kitchen and speaks in accents because she thinks it’s entertaining.

Trust me, you can learn to love me.

Leave Muncie for Minneapolis at 7 p.m. Friday, March 5 – - (10 hour drive)
Arrive in Minneapolis at 7 a.m. Saturday, March 6

SPEND THE DAY IN MINNEAPOLIS – SPEND THE NIGHT

Leave Minneapolis for Bismarck at 10 a.m. Sunday, March 7 – - (7 hour drive)
Arrive in Bismarck at 5 p.m. Sunday, March 7

Leave Bismarck for Ellensburg at 8 p.m. Sunday, March 7 – - (19 hour drive)
Arrive in Ellensburg at noon on Monday, March 8

SPEND THE DAY IN ELLENSBURG – SPEND THE NIGHT

Leave Ellensburg at 10 a.m. Tuesday, March 9 – - (2 hour drive)
Arrive in Seattle at noon Tuesday, March 9

SPEND TUES. AND WED. IN SEATTLE, COAST, ETC. SPEND THE NIGHT TUES. AND WED.

Leave Seattle for Portland at 8 a.m. Thursday, March 11 – - (2 hour drive)
Arrive in Portland at 11 a.m. Thursday, March 11

Leave Portland for Boise at 4 p.m. Thursday, March 11 – - (7 hour drive)
Arrive in Boise at 11 p.m. Thursday, March 11 SPEND THE NIGHT IN BOISE

Leave Boise for Salt Lake City at 8 a.m. Friday, March 12 – - (6 hour drive)
Arrive in Salt Lake City at 1 p.m. Friday, March 12

Leave Salt Lake City for Denver at 4 p.m. Friday, March 12 – - (8 hour drive)
Arrive in Denver at 11 p.m. Friday, March 12

SPEND THE NIGHT IN DENVER

Leave Denver for St. Louis at 9 a.m. Saturday, March 13 – - (15 hour drive)
Arrive in St. Louis at midnight Saturday, March 13

SPEND THE NIGHT IN ST. LOUIS WITH VICKI

Leave St. Louis for Muncie at 2 p.m. Sunday

Go to school the next day and try not to kill ourselves.